The thought of me stepping down was such a scary thing in sec 3 but now come to think of it, it is not so bad haha! Ok that laugh was fake, i really cannot bear to step down and leave this band. It was this band that i have great friends, great misunderstandings, great opportunities, great fun and great memories that will carry me through. Though yea i will eventually forget that i was in GVSB but for now it is such an important thing to me.

Oh yea i forgot i am classified as TEMPORARY STEP DOWN, that means i really haven't step down yet from band. But i am so sick of being a leader, always worrying about the future with Afiq. I just wonder why nobody in the band ever stop and think of their future or this band's future. But what to do i am still the oldest member in the band.

I wish that one day i could stop shouting, stop worrying about the band. Obviously i can't, bloody hell it is also affecting my work on my N levels. Why can't i stop worrying? Simple because there are people in the band who are self-centred they cannot think of the bigger picture. And here Afiq and me are so freaking worried about what we should do next. Seriously from the day Ms Yip and Mr Seong started scolding the percussion team, it was like the day all our faith, hope and goals in the band had just been cut into half maybe even worse.

All i wish for is the percussion team not to quit. Here are afiq and me worrying about them, how to stop them from quitting and stuff, but what can they say? AHAHAHA I AM QUITTING BAND, PLUS MY WHOLE SECTION TOO, right in front of faces. Its not only hurting, it breaks our faith that we have in band. One thing we are worried about all the stands and instruments, we are trying to hard to tell ms yip that none of the stands are lost. Second thing, we are trying so hard to plan a marching schedule for band. Last thing, coping with studies.

If it were me, i plan myself for having an unlucky year. How could this thing happen to our band and next year we are already taking syf already. Yea plan it that Sharilyn's batch have to go this year, blame the teachers for not watching what they said in the music room and making the whole percussionist quit.

Seriously if we dun have any sec 3 and 2 percussionist for next year syf, i ain't coming back for band. I might as well go for higher NITEC and join the NPband i guess. Well its obviously because i dun want to picture gvsb getting a COP award instead of maintaining or getting a silver, i get so worried, that i actually dream of our band getting a COP, i picture myself crying and crying, and giving up on myself completely. Haix it is exaggerating but i cannot help.

I just hope they understand why we actually choose to bother instead of not bothering.



ALEX =|